Budo Blog: When the going gets tough

In any physical confrontation there are four factors:

You
The Threat
Luck
The Environment

Personal protection training can be boiled down to improving and mitigating these factors to increase your probability for success.

Looking at the YOU factor, there is an entire industry built around personal improvement. No particular need for another voice in that field.

However, the Violence Dynamics Team consistently receives questions on mental preparation.

How can I become mentally tough? How can I prepare for the mental stress of interpersonal violence.

These questions along with some challenges I am facing, got me thinking...

What do you do when things suck?

Things are going to suck from time to time. That is just life. However, as the Rabbi in the above video suggested I feel things are supposed to suck. The suck has a purpose. The Universe is telling you things need to change.

That suck sensation is instinct. The Lobster needs to expand. It is a natural stimulus to change.

How does one become mentally tough? Embrace the suck. The Japanese have a term for this Shugyo

To ignore the suck, to become comfortable with circumstances that are not right is settling, stagnation.

Stagnation is just a slower form of death. Which reminds me of my favorite Wolverine quote.

“The key isn’t winning — or losing, it’s making the attempt. I may never be what I ought to be, want to be — but how will I know unless I try?

Sure, it’s scary, but what’s the alternative? Stagnation – A safer, more terrible form of death. Not of the body, but of the spirit.

An animal knows what it is, and accepts it. A man may know what he is — but he questions. He dreams. He strives. Changes. Grows.”

Inspirational memes have their place, but they don't get things done.

How does one become mentally tough? What does one do when things suck?

Stimulus - The Suck Sensation

"A man may know what he is — but he questions." - Why does this suck?

What can be done to improve this?

Develop a plan
Work the plan
Assess the plan - is this working?

If yes continue
If no adapt

Develop an improved plan
Repeat as necessary

How does one embrace the suck? How can the suck, suck less?

Stress management:

Exercise

Not only will this help burn off negative emotions, it will increase positive feelings with the release of endorphins, and you receive all the positive benefits that working out provides

Train

My new number one new student demographic at the Dojo has become people with high stress life styles that walk in the door because they have an interest in personal protection, but stay because of they grow to love the stress relieving effects of choking folks.

If I didn't have that outlet I'd be lost

Eat & Sleep

Make sure you body has everything it needs to repair damage and grow. To be the best version of you while you are facing a challenge.

Celebrate small victories.

You've made a plan to change. That plan has steps. It's a long road. Allow yourself to be human, celebrate the successful completion of those steps.

Don't start down the slippery slope. When things suck it can be easy to justify drinking, smoking, snorting, eating that negative stimulus away. Numb the pain. Like the Rabbi said if the Lobster popped a Percocet every time it felt discomfort, the suck, it would never grow. Celebrate success, don't try to kill the suck with chemicals. Its still going to suck the next day.

Count your blessings

Embrace and cherish the things that don't suck

Without these guys and their mom I'd be lost.

Not everything can be improved. If the suck sensation continues and no improvements can be made to change that, I believe that is a signal to find a different area to succeed in.

Everyone has gifts and talents. If a fish has to climb a tree, there is very limited probability for success. That is going to suck for that fish. If the fish has a vested interest it can work hard to develop the mechanisms that would allow it to climb a tree, and would be better off for having gone through that process. However, that fish might just be better off finding where swimming is needed to succeed and being a super star!

Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson wanted to play basketball. He got hurt, that sucked. When he was in physical therapy he discovered that he was very strong and had a natural aptitude for strength sports.

Last week he won the title of the world's strongest man